There’s an important conversation lurking and it’s one we often avoid—estate planning.
It’s easy to see why. The topic of what happens when we’re no longer here can feel uncomfortable or even morbid. Even though death is a necessary part of life, we avoid it because it makes us feel uneasy or outright scared. This discomfort is rooted in human nature: we don’t like to think about our own mortality or create tension by bringing it up with those we love.
The truth is that estate planning is one of the most thoughtful actions we can take for our families. Taking the time to proactively put into place protections to safeguard those we love while ensuring our wishes are respected allows us to reduce potential burdens down the line. So when is the right time to have these vital conversations? Right now.
Why Now is the Perfect Time
Estate planning is about financing and assets, of course, but it’s about ensuring that your family won’t be left in the dark when it comes to your wishes. By having these conversations now you can take the burden away from loved ones during an already emotional time. You’re giving them the gift of clarity, which can bring them immense comfort in moments of uncertainty. Giving them your estate plan roadmap means they don’t have to argue about or question what you would have wanted.
Families are complicated, and emotions can run high when it comes to decisions about estates and inheritance. Proactive, open, and honest conversations can go a long way to prevent misunderstandings or disputes down the line. When everyone is on the same page and understands your intentions, desires, and wishes, it can significantly reduce conflict later on.
Read some of our tips and some possible wording below to get you started on this important topic.
How to Start the Conversation
Acknowledge the Awkwardness It’s okay to admit that talking about estate planning feels awkward or uncomfortable. Sometimes simply acknowledging this can help ease tension.
“I know this isn’t the easiest topic, but it’s important to me that we talk about it now, while we’re all together.”
“I plan on being here a long time so I know this can feel weird to talk about, but I want to know you know what I’m thinking now so you won’t feel scared later.”
Frame It as a Family Discussion This isn’t just about you, it can be a scary conversation for all those you care for. Ask for input on how your wishes might affect them, and encourage everyone to share their thoughts about things they’re uncertain of.
“If something happens to me, are there any specific things you’d like to discuss in advance?”
“When something happens to me, here’s what I’d like. What’s meaningful to you?”
Talk About What’s Important to You Estate planning isn’t just about dividing assets. It’s about making sure your personal values and wishes are honored. If you have specific desires about charitable donations, how you want your belongings distributed, or even funeral arrangements, now is the time to express them.
“In my estate plan, I’ve set aside a certain money to go to this specific charitable organization. Here’s why…”
“You know I’ve spent time supporting this organization, it would be meaningful to me to include them in my funeral by asking people to… send donations to them, including a specific hymn, asking for a specific speaker.”
Be Upfront With Your Plan To the extent that you know, and you feel comfortable, share your plan. This allows them to adjust their own expectations and clear the air about what someone may have in mind.
“If I become incapacitated (or when I die), I’ve asked… these people to be my decision-makers…”
“I’ve got some retirement accounts that have their own beneficiaries, but I’ve also set up my will to include my children (or friend, or cousin, or parent).”
The Benefits of Early Planning
Planning now, and having the conversation with your family, allows you to ensure that your assets go to the people or causes you care about, minimizes the tax burden on your family, and helps avoid probate—a lengthy legal process that can delay the distribution of your estate. Additionally, an up-to-date estate plan helps account for life’s changes, like marriage, the birth of children, or the purchase of property.
By facing the conversation head-on, you can help provide relief and comfort to those you love. Give the gift of preparedness and ensure that your legacy is one of thoughtfulness, love, and care. When you’re ready, we’re ready. Schedule a time to chat to get started.